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David haye1

ME TOE HURTS!

David Haye is a noted homosexual activist and former cruiserweight and heavyweight titleholder in the sport of boxing. He hails from Englandistan. He is most noted for having fought Sugar Nikolai Valuev, who soundly defeated him but then gave him his WBA belt anyway, so that SNV himself would be free to go off into the forest and seek out his long lost Yeti relatives.

Haye then took this belt and used it as part of his ongoing campaign to earn an undeserved shot at a Klitschko brother. This campaign consisted of running around loudly calling out the brothers whenever they were busy fighting someone else, going quiet as a mouse when they were seeking a fight, defending his own belt against the likes of Audley Harrison (seriously!), and generally being a cunt.

This campagin was eventually successful and in 2011 Haye agreed to fight Wladimir Klitschko in the most (bizzarely) anticipated heavyweight scrap in years, promising the total destruction of Wladimir in brutal fashion. Haye then proceeded to run big girlish circles around the ring without throwing any punches, in a terrible fight which marked the end of heavyweight boxing. Most amusingly, he blamed his cowardly performance on a broken pinky toe, which he showed off for reporters.

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